Thanks, I Needed That

Season 2: FINAL EPISODE - Spinning Your Sh*t Into Gold

• Alaina Money-Garman & Steph Wilberding

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0:00 | 27:15

n this season two finale, we’re talking about the things we’re not good at—and flipping them into something powerful.

Instead of trying to fix every flaw, we’re exploring what those “weak spots” might actually be telling us about our strengths, boundaries, and how we want to live.

Plus, we’re wrapping up the season with a few reflections and what’s next.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling short, this episode might shift your perspective.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, I'm Elena, and I'm Steph. And this is thanks. I needed that a 12-minute conversation between friends to boost our moods and redirect our day.

SPEAKER_00

Because otherwise we'll just spin. So take a breath. You're with friends now. Hi. Hello. Guess what today is? I don't know. What is it? It's our last episode of what we're calling season two. Boy, that went fast. I know. It's already April 15th, tax day.

SPEAKER_01

Are you taxing done? Yes, because my husband does some. I'm not good at that, but we'll get to that later part of this episode. But yes, I went to the post office earlier this week because I had to return some jeans that I bought for Amelia. And I walked in and I was like, this is such a good day to go to the post office. It's not a holiday. Totally forgot. It's tax week. And I went during lunch hour. I'm so clueless. So I walked in. Um, but it was like, you know, that thing that white people say, like, I got there at the right time. Because I got there, I got there and then the line went berserk. Um waited for quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00

I would like to share with you and all of our listeners that I think this is the first time in I'm gonna say a decade that I paid my taxes on time. Congrats! Not because I'm like belligerent and don't pay my taxes, but because I've always like, here's a little bit, I'll pay the rest throughout the year. Like I paid my taxes. You had the money to pay them.

SPEAKER_01

I had the money to pay them, and you're not W-2, which is very different and very expensive. You have to do a lot of financial planning, practice some discipline, and that is not easy. So I applaud you. So that felt good.

SPEAKER_00

Um so we're gonna do uh our final episode. We're gonna kind of talk about shit we're not good at and how we um but how we embrace our strengths.

SPEAKER_01

I had this thought the other day that maybe the things that we're really good at, like our gifts, right? Because we have we have some natural gifts, and I'm gonna make us talk about those too. But um, I wonder if it's a trade, like the things we're bad at are trade-offs for the things we're really good at. And I think because of our age, and I think we've both said this, like, I don't know that I am interested in getting better at that.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

At the stuff I'm bad at. I'm really bad at um, and I think I might have some latent ADHD now that I think about this. I'm really bad at email and voicemail, and it I get overwhelmed and I like shut down. I am immobile. I get paralyzed by it. So I think, yeah, my executive function just like peters out. Um, like my voicemail says, if people call it, it says, You've reached Elena, I'm good at a lot of things. Voicemail is not one of them. If you get in touch with me, please text me at this same number.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And uh you're probably surprised or not to hear a lot of people, even strangers, will text me and be like, I love that voicemail. Because I think what I'm trying to demonstrate there is give myself credit for the things I'm good at and just own the things I'm not good at.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And still giving people a way to contact me, and then I can decide whether I want to engage or not.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But it's a really good way to like demonstrate giving yourself some grace and understanding that like I don't have to be good at everything. I can let myself off the hook and like not be great at email. So I just tell people like, I'm not great at email. So if you email me and you need me to see it, you also need to text me and be like, hey girl, check your email. Check your email.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, which is fascinating and exceptional because you ran a company for so many years that you were very clear on managing that expectation from everybody. Like you weren't you weren't glued to your email. No, but people knew you needed something, they knew how to like say, Alana, go read this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, for many, many years I was, but the more when I my gift at Garmin was always storytelling. And so one of the reasons I'm terrible at my email and and it got so out of control is because every time I went to a conference, they my information was sold to all of the sponsors.

SPEAKER_00

Wait, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

Every time you go to a business conference as a speaker, or if you just sign like if I sign up for the builder show, my email address is sold to is given to every vendor. Oh every vendor that's selling something to all the builders there or all the attendees to a leadership conference. Every time I went to a conference, my information was sold, plus the AI bots that are like, I see your CEO, I see your company. And then they're sending me things about every single thing that a business owner could ever dream about wanting. And it's it's some of it's super insulting. They're like, I saw your website and you're missing many leads by this ancient blah blah blah. Like, wow, really, buy me a drink instead of insulting my business. I'm never gonna reply to you. I don't even want to reply to you now. But that's why it's it's an interesting intersection of my gifts, right? So the best thing I could do for Garmin was to keep telling our story all across the country, which I did for years and years and years, and I was glued to my email because I needed to be. That's where the opportunity for our business was.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

And at a certain point, I was like, I'm out. I'm retired from email when I was still in the company. I just couldn't stand all of the um, and I've never had an assistant.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's part of it. You know, we've always been very we grew a comp a home building company out of the biggest recession to ever hit our, you know, country. So we've always run super lean. We've never added an administrative level of of employment.

SPEAKER_00

Is there another thing while we're sharing and we can shift from email? Is there another thing that you've like, I'm not good at that? I'm happy to outsource it or just like not deal with it anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Um, I mean, I'm not good at our financial planning. Okay. Jim's very gifted at it and he likes it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And so I'm super grateful to have a partner that I can strategize, I can like big picture with him. Um, that's how we decided to build when we did. Like, I was like, wait, we can still do this financial goal that we have and this at the same time. And you know, seeing those sort of pieces of the puzzle. But to sit down at a computer and like like Jim predicts our taxes, our personal taxes, and our business taxes. Like he does the math on it. Wow. Um, and he gets real close. It's like it's amazing. I was telling he was kind of upset with himself by missing it by a number that he thought was embarrassing. And I was like, You are as good at our taxes as I am at anything you think I'm great at. Like, I'm a great cook. You are as good at our taxes, predicting them, paying them, staying on top of them, forward planning, like you're doing, like 1099, you know, right? All of that mental labor, that mental load. Um, he's exceptional at that. And I'm not, I'm not. I'd rather out I would outsource, I would pay somebody. Yeah. But even when we pay somebody, he's still like, what about this? What about this? Yeah. Like he's he sees it.

SPEAKER_00

That's incredible. I'm not quite there yet, but I do pay someone to do my taxes. But I also like, I'm getting, you know what it is? So something I'm not good at, right? Or I don't think I'm good at is financial planning, is numbers, right? And I now know that's because I never really had any numbers to analyze, right? So when you're just trying to figure it out one bill at a time, it's really hard to then when people are like, well, have you thought about? I'm like, no. No, I haven't been able to. So now that like I'm if that was like one and I'm, you know, 10 is being like a financial savant, I'm like, maybe we'll call them at like three or four now, right? Um, and even this this year I was talking to the uh my tax preparer and she was asking me a question, and she asked me this have you done this account, like investment account? And I was like, No. And then she keeps explaining it and I go, Oh, yeah. Like she like she used the long form of the word, which is like a it's a SEP IRA. Okay. Okay, which is a self-employment pension fund.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, this is a pet peeve of mine. This this goes back to our piss me off and pivot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, people who use acronyms and don't say Well, to her defense, I knew it as a SEP IRA because that's what I enrolled in on like my account.

SPEAKER_01

But yes, but I still think it's worth saying the SEP IRA.

SPEAKER_00

Remember, that's the self-employment. Right. She said, Did did you by any chance set up a self-employment pension fund? And I was like, Oh, she, oh, she didn't use it. She said that. I was like, I don't think so. And then she said something, I'm like, oh wait, do you mean a SEP IRA? She goes, Yes. I was like, Yes, I did. But also, old me would have been like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I was like, Yeah, I did. Like, I don't, I don't care to, I don't care about being right as much as I used to.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yes. I I totally agree. Right versus successful, right? Correct. Right. I'd rather be successful and like um unsubscribe from a conversation where I'm gonna put energy in to be right. I'd rather just be like, yeah, okay, bye. Like I don't need to spend that energy there. Yep. Um what'd you say? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I choose to spend the energy to be right. Because it's an issue that's important to me. If it's, you know, homophobia, racism, right, uh, sexism, um, I'm going there. I'm not gonna unsubscribe from that moment, but otherwise.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Um tell me something you're really good at. What are your gifts?

SPEAKER_00

I'm really good at connecting with people within like a minute, like strangers. Like, and I think some people are like taken aback by it, like when I meet new clients and stuff, and I can tell when they're like in a little like, oh, like this. I never I'm never like crazy about it, but I can tell when they're like a little more um reserved, and so I'll like slow my role a little bit, but I don't know. I'm just like, why am I not gonna connect with you? You might spend a lot of money with me.

SPEAKER_01

You're a good reader of people. I mean, even in that demonstration, even in that description, you know, you can read the speed that they're probably willing to go towards a I think I have a similar gift like that. And then that's from our jobs. I mean, being on site in a model home, someone walks in, it's my job to connect to them and understand what they're looking for and see if I have it and hope that they buy with me, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Um I actually got proof, I got proof of this today. This is uh apropos. So I had a deal closed yesterday. I'm sorry, Monday. Um, I got paid today. And um this couple I met at an open house of one of our condo buildings in Brooklyn. And so they were essentially strangers to me, but they had a Dayton, Ohio area code when they texted me that they were out in front of the building. So when I opened the door, I saw this like young-ish couple, like I'm gonna say 35 to 45. I don't know how old they are. And I was like, go flyers, which is the Dayton basketball team. And the husband, the guy was like, What? And I was like, I saw your zip code. And from there on, we were like, in. And so they passed on our unit because they wanted more outdoor space. And then I followed up with them and they ended up signing on with me as their agent. And we just closed yesterday, and she sent me an email. She's like, You went above and beyond so many times. And you still are, because we're still finishing some work at their new place. And she goes, I can't, I will happily recommend you to friends and colleagues. So sweet. So sweet. That's exactly what you want. And like I've had other really nice people, but that's the first thank you note I've received. You're kidding. I mean, some of the people that I've helped were friends, so I got right. But yeah. And also, this is New York. This is New York. Thanks, Bike. I also can say that um I think it goes hand in hand with like the when you don't have enough money to manage like like a financial advisor, like, I just need more money. Um I think it goes hand in hand with this, like personal organization. I'm not great at it, but I'm getting better at it.

SPEAKER_01

I think you're really good at knowing when you need to like stop the momentum of your life and like take a beat. Like we just talked about this, like your physical space is your mental.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

The physical space has to be organized for your mental space to like really fire on all the cylinders you need to.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So, you know, maybe at some point that means I outsource like a cleaning person once a month just to like really feel like I'm taking care of it. Um, but but embracing my strength is like I do uh if I if I flip it on its head and say like I'm not always as organized as I like to be, I know that's because one of my strengths is saying yes and following through. And I mean, sometimes I say yes maybe too fast or too much, but um but I do know that like it's not just the saying yes, it's the saying yes and actually showing up and following through. And I'm pretty damn reliable on that front. I'm getting better at saying no. I think I just want to work on not saying anything. Tell me more. Like, you know, if you're in a situation where like no one's directly asking you to do something, but you're oh yes, you feel an obligation. Whether it's like your family, your friends, work, whatever it is, or like you know, you like obligation, right? I'm I'm somebody who in the past would be like, I got it. Right, you're volunteering before anyone even asks you. Right. And I'm just like, let's just see what they actually need, and do I have the bandwidth for it?

SPEAKER_01

That's people pleasing too.

SPEAKER_00

I'll keep my mouth shut for a minute.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, that's really good. That's a really good life skill. I'm working on it. Yeah, I I'm probably working on it too, but yeah, it's not easy.

SPEAKER_00

Um we were talking about this earlier, just like in a friend text exchange. I maybe Lauren, our friend Lauren, your trainer and friend and my friend, we had like a text thread going about um like women letting themselves off the hook in general. We were specifically talking about fitness, but yeah, I think this is kind of at the like foundation of this conversation. Like, what are you good at? What are your strengths? And like if you're just if something is not your strength, just do I need it to be right.

SPEAKER_01

And do we need to apologize for it? Do we just can we just be like not good at some things? Yeah, can we just not like yeah, and and be so appreciative and celebratory of the people who are who do have different gifts and who yeah, and seeing those gifts and celebrating those, but then also being like, Yeah, I don't have that. That is awesome. Yeah, like I have these other things and I'm pretty happy about them.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's like I don't want to say it's a female thing, but I I like do I this usually is not my my MO is usually not um like men don't deal with this. I'm not usually that way, but like I don't hear a lot of men saying, like, ooh, I'm bad at that, I should work on it.

SPEAKER_01

One time I I you know you're not like that at all, but it's true. There's I think we're raised we were in a generation that was raised with higher expectations for women than men. I mean, we were part of that, we were raised by women who held other women, especially daughters, responsible for the behaviors of men. Like we weren't allowed to wear a top that showed cleavage because it would inst it would draw this attention from men that was unwanted. And it's like, why am I responsible for their behavior? Which we didn't arrive at this until recently. Right. Right. And um, yeah, there were there were much higher expectations. I remember going to a conference once and I was I arrived at the conference and I was like, um, I was the leader of my council, like I was the the chair. We would do a full day of uh of learning, of educational opportunities. So it was all you know, guest speakers and really um high-level stuff. This was like the Ivy Leagues of um home building and placemaking, okay? And um it was a big job. And I arrived exhausted and I had to host because I'm the chair, right? So it was a lot of emotional labor. And I had a committee with me that does all of the things that I'm not good at, which is logistics and all those things. And someone was like, Why are you so you know, like, why are you so exhausted? And I was like, Have you ever prepped food for your kids before you went on a business trip? And they were like, No. And I was like, I I was prepping meals, two to three meals that my I know my kids will eat, that are nutritious, that they can pop in the oven and then take for lunch the next day. Like I was forward planning life to go on at my home without me there. And my my therapist has um described this as my overfunctioning. She's like, You're you're continuing to overfunction. Like she's constantly like, you need to style that back. You know, that that's what I think to work on. I'm an overfunctioner, and I'm choosing to work on that. Yeah, yeah. I do want to get better at you know, yeah. Because I get so disappointed in. And then I get resentful. But it was kind of confrontational. I was like, what do you do before you go on a business trip? As a man, what do you do to prep prep the house for you to be gone?

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

And he was just he just shook his head. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, and I was a single mom at the time, you know, and my mom lives with me, so I have a partner.

SPEAKER_00

Right. It was it was yeah, you know, you're saying that, and it kind of makes me think about like um sometimes I get a little like oh god, I wish there was somebody to just walk the dog. Yes. I wish there was somebody to say, I'll go grab the cheese that we're out of at the corner. Like, you know, those things, which like none of it's that deep. And like at times I can I find a lot of pride in all that I do on my own and where and where I'm doing it in you know, in the city. Um I don't want somebody just for sake of them being here and being a like a douche, right? But like I I but I do have those moments where I'm like, wow. Yeah, you carry a really heavy load. That that would be, and I don't think everybody what what the reason I'm bringing it up is because this person you were talking about at this conference, that hadn't occurred to him, right? And just like there's a lot of women in my life that are single, either never married, divorced, whatever it is. And like I think it's a really easy thing to overlook for people that that carrying it on your own, you know. Um, I'm also fully aware there are people in relationship that carry a lot on their own anyway, you know. Like I know it's not just fixable, but but I get that like exhaustion from just being like, can it just not be me today? Right. You know, can we take this? Can we take care of which is why it's important to understand what I'm really good at and what I can take care of on my own and where I need to outsource. Right. And what and not feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_01

Let yourself off the hook. If you're listening to this, yeah, think about the things that you're good at, give yourself full credit for each of your gifts. And I I think as an exercise, it is wildly helpful to like write that down. Yeah, write that shit down, write the stuff that you're good, you're really good at. You have some gifts, everybody has some gifts, and stand really tall in that. And the things that you you're not good at, like let yourself off the hook. Yeah, outsource it or you know, like give people a way in, like I'm bad at email and voicemail. You gotta text me. Like, I'm pretty good on I'm not great on text still, but I'm I'm better. You know, just understanding that for yourself and giving yourself full credit for the things that you've done. And just like, you know, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00

It's okay. I feel like this is a good place to um end and talk about something that we've been influenced to purchase or use. And then maybe we'll do a quick little, this is way more than 12 minutes, but maybe we'll just do a quick little like what we're thinking about for the future. Like two minutes we'll share with everybody. Okay. But like nothing, just like where we're at after two seasons, what we feel like.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Let me influence you first.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, do it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I'm holding up this logo. This is the irregular heart logo for House of Shan. S-H-A-N, House of Shan. Um it's clothing, like really cute trucker hats, and you can um it has this heart on it, and you can customize the colors. And she's on Instagram. My friend Jen Nowak bought me um a hoodie from this brand in an extra large. Buy the extra large, whatever size you are, buy the extra large. Because it's like perfect. Yeah, it is perfect, and it's like a wearing a hug. She bought me um when I got my tummy tuck, and it was I love it. And I've since bought a trucker hat, and I um Amelia bought me the socks for Easter. Cute that has this little heart on it. So I love it.

SPEAKER_00

That's cute. I like that logo. Um, mine is food prep related, which I'm feeling really drawn to get back into that kind of content sharing world. But my friend Christian, he turned me onto these. The brand is M-E-P-A-L, so Maypal or MePal. I don't know. Um MePal, MePal, my food is Mepal. Um, they're super cute. I have rectangular ones, but they also have like bowls. The thing that's great about them is that they're cute and solid and they look cute in your um fridge, but then you can see what's in them. And do they go in the microwave? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, they're great. Um, so I really like these and they make storing food enjoyable. Um okay, so this is uh our last episode of what we're calling season two. And um I don't know. I just feel like we take a second to like what it's been fun. Like, I feel like we're like season two feels a little different than season one. Um it's definitely got our minds kind of spinning around like what's possible from a collaboration perspective. Like it's just I think we both like collaborating with each other.

SPEAKER_01

We do, yeah, I do. Yeah, I hope you do. Yeah, I do. I love it, and I think we've both been thinking a little bit bigger about what our platforms, how this platform can help broaden other platforms that have personally, you know, you certainly have a lot of food and fitness, right? And um I have other things that I'm excited to share and explore. Yeah. I still do a fair bit of speaking, and um yeah, I'm excited about it. I think I think it's gonna be interesting to think about because we've just been showing up kind of DIY. Yeah. You know, not uh just showing up, just creating the habit, getting the reps in, like we've talked about this. And I think maybe, maybe in the future there's more structure to it. There's a producer friend or you know, someone to help us turn this into something more significant. Because I tell you, the best thing in the world is hearing from people that we know, yeah, who have listened and it's been impactful to them. And I think I'm eager to share that with people we don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I think we've had so much feedback from girls, uh girls, women we went to college with. Um, there's a woman I know here in New York who's like a Broadway gal, and we're friends, and she's like, I love your podcast. And she kind of just said it out of the blue, and it's like, oh, that's so nice. And I think for me, it's um it's been a nice um opportunity to to like recognize that women love supporting each other when given an opportunity.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And there is a there is potential for big community out there. And I love, I love, you know, I will say this, and back to the theme of the episode. When I was in LA, I opened a gym, right? And I'd come from New York, the gym I worked at went out there, and I hired this woman to train for me, like two classes, three classes a week. She was great. And at some point in a conversation, she's like, community building is your superpower. And I miss it. Like, I loved that. And I was like, Oh, that's so nice to hear. She's like, you just know how to like bring people together. So I think we both do in our own way. So I think that would be whatever that looks like in the future, I'm excited to see. Me too. Yeah. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening to this and to all the episodes you've listened to.

SPEAKER_01

And if you needed that, please share this with someone else who might need it too. And thank you for listening. Thanks. Bye guys. Bye.